Everything Has Become a Lullaby

Everything has become a lullaby, at least when Ena has to sleep.

I was feeling so victorious (a sure sign of things changing for the worse) last week when I tried - and succeeded - all week to have Ena sleep in her crib for her morning nap. Ta-da! Well, not so the past few days; we've had 20 minute naps, tried and failed, and a day I could not even get up the nerve to try. On the other hand, one of those 'failures' turned into a two hour sleep-with that was lovely - I really needed the sleep and nothing is better than Ena curled against my chest, asleep (even if she kicks and scratches me if she wakes up and I'm not quite ready).

Some songs are natural lullabys:
"Danny Boy" of course makes an easy lullaby, and it's still her favourite, we think (our usual closer) - even with the IRA verse slipped in at the end;
"Red River Valley" even though I usually mix up the verses;
"Down In the Valley" ("Birmingham Jail") - I'm always thinking of my Dad singing from Slim Whitman's album.
Even "Streets of Larado" (again, thinking of my Dad singing), slow enough to fall to sleep to.

But then there's the rebel songs. I proudly sing these, but they might take some explanation to Ena when she's older.
"Kevin Barry" - dark as anything, but I figure if my sister and I were able to make sense of it - I remember my Dad teaching it to us when I was six - then hopeful it doesn't give Ena nightmares)
"Boulavougue" - newly discovered from my Granddad's reminiscences of a going back to Wexford to a Hurling match back with his father). M has me switch the words a little so instead of the hero, Father Murphy, being put upon the rack and burned, the English soldiers merely "tickle his toes and give him a snack." This may take more explanation when she's older than poor Kevin Barry's plight.
"Roddy McCorley" - I think this may come to me though Frank McCourt's father ("Angela's Ashes"), which isn't a good recommendation, and I can't quite say why Roddy is so happy about dying (proud of his cause, okay, but the lyrics make him out to be downright pleased), but it's a moving song and I know it. That may be

We also sing Ena other songs considered more wholesome. Like, "You Are My Sunshine" (pretty hopeless if you listen to the verses), "She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain", "Goodnight Irene" (Leadbelly includes cocaine and "getting" her in his dreams). Though, just like nursery rhymes, they're as devoid of adult themes, love, sex, blood and sadness, if you listen or dig a bit into their histories. I like "The Wheels on the Bus," "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes," and "Hm-Hm Went the Little Green Frog One Day" (or whatever that one's called!). I guess Ena's going to be stuck hearing both the light and the dark, though, if we're her parents. It's what we know, it's how we see the world - how could we deprive her of that?

But my original reason for the post: no matter how dark, they can all sound like lullabies if I'm trying to get her to sleep. So sweetly I'll try to sing those heavy lyrics if they mean her lovely eyes may rest shut for more than twenty minutes.


I looked for a photo of her sleeping, but they are rare - I guess we're usually just too scared to snap a shot a wake her up. So here's just too recent ones of her very wide awake:

Getting to Sleep

Well that was nearly an hour in the dark of holding and swaying and singing, alternating between "Danny Boy" "Red River Valley" and various Irish rebel songs. I hope she sleeps for a little while.

Last night was rough - about 12:30am to 2:45 we were up with her. Letting her cry, doing the above, nursing... then finally sleep. Who could say why? (Though I know, many try to.)

So I'll share some photos of our lovely Ena and then go do something relaxing, like our income tax returns.


(Now Ena's with me. She woke up before I published this post. Maybe we'll stand on the windowsill and watch the rain. We both like that.)

Updating

I can't believe that it has been almost one month since I wrote an entry. We have been so busy. We traveled to the Lower Mainland in March for Spring Break and then in April for my sister's wedding. We had a visit from Nanny and Granddad for Easter. It was report card time again for Elliot. And for me, Ena has been refusing to sleep much during the day so I have very little time to write (or do much of anything). Ena used to sleep for at least 45 minutes at a time in the swing. About a month and a half ago she stopped taking these longer naps and would only sleep for about 25 minutes at a time. Then, she outgrew her swing. It was only a matter of time. We knew it was coming, but we held out hope that some magical solution would appear. Maybe she wouldn't outgrow it as soon as it seemed. Maybe she would magically start napping in her crib. We were living in the parents' world of denial.

She is now far to active to be in her swing. When we put her in she starts grabbing the bars, banging on the tray, pushing with her legs, and today's development? Jumping up and down! There is no way she can sleep when the swing offers these new entertainments, and no way that we can trust she will be safe.

I've been spending lots of time walking her to sleep in the stroller, laying in bed with her sleeping on my shoulder, or allowing her to nurse to nap on my lap. These are certainly not the best methods but the last two do have the added perks of snuggling with her and watching her sleep. She is a lovely girl.

Ena's latest milestones:

She still hasn't quite figured out how to crawl. She can move backwards with ease, and can worm herself forward on a soft surface, but she hasn't figured out that to crawl forward she needs both her head and her butt off the ground at the same time. When she really wants something that is out of her reach, which doesn't happen often because she usually just loses interest, she can work her way to it but I wouldn't call what she does a crawl.

On this past Friday she started pulling herself up to a standing position. I had her sitting in her crib as I put some laundry away, turned back to check on her and she was standing up and biting on the edge of her crib. Since then she has become an expert at it. She immediately pulls herself up when I put her in the crib. She has also started doing this stiff leg thing. Whenever E or I go to put her down on the ground she straightens her legs so that we can't move her into a sitting position. She just wants to stand. It's quite funny to watch. We've each been struggling with this new development - I've taken the tactic of pulling one leg out from under her when I need her to sit and E has begun just laying her down flat on her back.

One of her top teeth has now broken through her gum. It looks quite large. We keep hoping that once her teeth come through she will sleep better. I think we are fooling ourselves though.

She has been 'talking' up a storm for the last couple of months. It really started way back in November but every day she seems to get more adept at making sounds. When she plays by herself she spends the whole time razzing, cooing, making noises like 'ba, ba' 'hi,' 'adjuey,' and a variety of vowel sounds. It is very sweet to listen to. I think she is going to have a lot to say to us when she can finally make herself understood.

We've been feeding her a variety of solid foods. Surprisingly, she really likes chili. She also loves banana (still), avocado, kiwi, pears, apples, figs, and oatmeal.

Well, it's time for me to go change a diaper. I will try to write more frequently.

No success with sweet potatoes

Last night we gave Ena her first taste of a vegetable. I cooked some sweet potato for her to try. Since she has done so well with the yogurt and brown rice we've offered her I thought she would take to the sweet potato right away. Not quite. On her first taste she made a very funny, scrunched up face. The second bite went ok. for the Third bite, however, she was clear that this food was not for her. She stuck her tongue out, refusing the food, and ejected what was left in her mouth. It was pretty disappointing (I love sweet potato!), but there was nothing to be done but to accept her evaluation of the food and move on. E thought she might not have liked it because it was so much more fibrous than the other foods we've been giving her. Next time I try feeding her sweet potato (in a few weeks) I will make sure I blend it more and perhaps mix in a little breast milk, too.

Some good news, last night she slept her first long and deep sleep of the last two weeks. I hope this means that her teeth are troubling her a little less (and, selfishly, that we might all get a little more sleep).

Sleeping better, squealing more

The holiday season has kept me from making blog posts as regularly as I would like. Every week there are changes in Ena. She has begun sleeping for longer periods at night again. She gets herself back to sleep at night after she has woken up. E has had a cold the last five days or so and she was startling every time he blew his nose but now she takes it in stride. Yesterday E heard her let out a sound of shock or surprise when she was awoken from her nap by a noise he had made. She sucks her thumb more regularly now. She likes bath time. She has gotten better at putting things into her mouth. She squeals more. And she is putting more effort into her vocalization.

Though I am still very tired I woke this morning with an overwhelming feeling of love and thankfulness for Ena. She has changed our lives completely, made it impossible for us to get anything done, and caused us to be constantly overtired (which in turn has made us each as grumpy as can be!), but there really is nothing better in the world than having her.

4 month check-up

This morning we went to the Dr.'s for her 4 month check-up. All is well. She weighs 12 pounds 14 oz. with her clothes on and measures 24 inches long. Her head size is in the 75th percentile.

She was pretty good while at the Dr.'s. She only fussed just at the very end. E & I were very impressed.

She still has not returned to sleeping through the night. She will usually sleep for 5 hours then wake for a feed and return to sleep for another 3 or 4 hours. During the day she has stopped taking long naps. She is awake for longer periods, which is good, but she still gets fussy because she is tired. I can manage to get her to sleep (in the swing) but she will often wake up after only 20 or 30 minutes. I am growing concerned that she is not getting enough sleep. I just trust that she is doing what she needs to to keep well.

Chatty Kathy and other things

About a week ago Ena began to make new vocalizations. We were putting her to bed while her grandparents were here and suddenly she began to make these loud 'talking' noises - hi, ow, huh, eial. The last four or five days she's been making them several times a day. The same noises, in exactly the same way. You can see her concentrating on it. She gets a very focused look on her face and moves her tongue very deliberately to create them. It sounds so wonderful. It really is the sweetest thing. E managed to record some of them so hopefully we can share the sound with his parents and other people who love our Ena.

We had another busy weekend. Friday night was the PR Arts Council Christmas party so we all bundled up and carted ourselves off to M.H.'s house for the evening. The party started pretty much when Ena should be going to sleep so I didn't have high expectations for her behaviour. But, again she surprised me. She did really well, was awake and alert for a time, only fussed a short while and then fell asleep in the wrap while E was carrying her.

We spent Saturday at home and finally got our guest room restored to a den/movie room. We moved the bed out, returned the desk and TV and set up the Christmas tree. It was one of the best days we've had as a family. Ena was very good and we got work done around the house as well as had time together. We also got to watch an interesting (but not well acted or produced) movie that evening - Make the Yuletide Gay.

Sunday was the PR Library's Christmas party so we again bundled ourselves up and made our way out for festivities. The party was in the multipurpose room at the library. The room normally has very little in the way of good atmosphere but it was nicely decorated by some of the staff and so managed to feel comfy and cozy. Last night Ena slept for 9 1/2 hours. I am hoping that this signals a return to longer nights after the past 10 days of little sleeping but only time will tell.

Looking forward to all her new developments - and to our first Christmas/Solstice together.

Learning to squeal

Ena is 17 weeks old now. About a week ago she began to change her sleeping pattern and is now waking up one or two times a night again. We are not sure what is happening. It may be that she has begun to teethe. It may just be that she has changed what she wants. The first few nights of this new pattern she made a lot of whimpering noises while sleeping and woke up every couple of hours. The last two nights have been better - less whimpering and longer stretches of sleep - but we are getting exhausted. I hope that things continue to improve.

On to more exciting developments now, Ena has begun to learn to squeal. A few nights ago she started to get more vocal. She is really focusing on our mouths when we speak and has tried to move her mouth and tongue in deliberate ways to make sounds. She has managed to make a few squeals of enjoyment during this process and today seems to be getting the hang of intentionally making them. I am looking forward to this development.

Nanny & Granddad visited

We were very lucky to have E's parents here for a few days this past weekend. They haven't seen Ena since she was born and it was great to have her spend time with them. She took to them right away - she seemed to love listening to Granddad talk and smiled easily for both of them. Having them here also meant a break for E & I. We tried to get some work done around the house but we also took a couple evenings to ourselves for dinner out. What a treat! I wish that they lived closer to us (or we closer to them) so that they could be a bigger part of Ena's life. I don't want them to miss out on her growing up.
One of the negatives of Nanny and Granddad's visit was that our schedule was disrupted. A small price to pay, I know, but all the change meant that Ena was sleeping less. She spent very little time sleeping during her naps and became increasingly stubborn about resisting them (tears, yelling and all). At night she woke more often - one night she fed three or four times! - and slept for shorter periods. They left this morning and I am hoping that we can get ourselves back on track tonight. I really was enjoying those 7 to 9 hour stretches of sleep at night!

The adventures we have.

The last few days have been quite out of the ordinary for Ena. On Thursday one of E's co-workers offered to babysit Ena at the last minute. I was reluctant but E encouraged me and so Ena headed off to be babysat and E & I went out for tea. We didn't really know what to do with ourselves. Alone together at last, we found ourselves talking about her. Worrying about her. And feeling as though we had best get done everything that needed doing that we can't seem to do when she is around. Thus, we found ourselves soon leaving Cowpuccinos for home to fold sheets!

On Saturday night we took Ena to her first party. Gary Coons, our MLA and a former teacher for SD52, retired from teaching this past year so some of his co-workers decided to hold a retirement party for him. We took Ena with us and she was very well behaved (mostly) and well received by the party-goers. I was nervous the whole time but she did well and while she likely didn't have a good time she did seems to be stimulated.

All this last week she has slept well at night. I know it won't stay this way, and I am trying to prepare myself for the change, but I just feel so lucky that she has been sleeping such long nights. I am also extremely proud of her because part of sleeping through the night is being able to soothe herself when she wakes up during the night. It is lovely to see her growing and learning and becoming more independent.

The cutest thing ever.

Ena has had a difficult day today. Not because of her own issues but because her parents are trying to get construction work done around the house. Unable to sleep at home, M took her for a walk during her nap time. This worked for a bit but unfortunately Mom had to return home to use the washroom and the noise woke her up and she just wouldn't settle again. Enter feed time.

Once she was fed she was happy again. She had some playtime on her activity mat and went through two sets of clothes because she pooed and it shot straight up her back.

Right now it is her nap time again and she is sitting in her swing watching a mobile on her crib as she rocks. Her head is moving in little circles because she won't take her eyes off the mobile as she moves back and forth. Her eyes keep threatening to close but she forces them back open with a start and continues staring at her mobile (a monkey, frog, and bird). Her face is so adorable. Is anything better than this?

Three months old

Ena is now 3 months old. Today, to celebrate, she has decided she doesn't need much sleep. She has woken up early from all of her naps and is now struggling against her body to stay awake. Lots of eye rubbing, head nodding, and blinking happening. Only strumming the guitar will put her to sleep.

We had lots of play time today. She has been on her tummy some, played with her activity gym, watched her mobile, and stared in great enjoyment at the pictures of babies in one of her books.

Everyday she seems bigger and brighter!